Pale is Pretty! Fair is Fab!
A woman on a message board that I frequent uses the tag-line “pale is the new tan”. Every time I see the tag I snort and think, “I wish”. I have been waiting for the pale trend since puberty. As a teen I was teased for my flat hair (bigger was better back then), my flat chest (bigger has always been better) and my cleft chin (the nickname ass-chin still haunts me). I hated these features, but it was my pale skin that I hated the most. I dreaded the arrival of the warm weather because it always meant merciless teasing about my pasty skin.
In my late teens I became obsessed with achieving the perfect tan. I slathered myself in baby oil and baked myself in the sun. I never did achieve that perfect tan. I did, however, suffer several horrific sunburns. I can’t imagine the damage that I’ve done to my skin, and I still fear that I will one day discover cancerous skin cells. Oh, the stupidity of vanity!
During my early twenties, I discovered self-tanning products. I think I bought every single self-tanner on the market, from high end, to low end. Some turned me orange, some left me striped and some turned my palms and ankles brown. All of them smelled terrible. Oh, how we suffer for beauty!
This year, I say screw it. Pasty, you say? I prefer alabaster. From the looks of things, I don’t think I’m alone. I’m seeing more and more celebrities foregoing the “Cheeto tan” these days. While fake-bakers like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan turn themselves into hot messes, stars like Scarlet Johannsen, Julianne Moore, Reese Witherspoon, and Nicole Kidman are helping to re-define what is sexy in Hollywood. Hopefully MTV’s Jersey Shore will help obliterate the tanning trend. Seriously, does anyone actually aspire to look like Snooki?
Olay has a great pitch line: Love the Skin You’re In. I like that. If you tan naturally and do it safely, great! But, I encourage the fair skinned masses to reject the notion that they must be tan in order to be attractive. Say it with me people, “Pale is pretty! Fair is Fab!”. Feels good, right?
Cut Costs Cuties!
Gemma
