To: Cetephil,
CC: Galderma
Subject: Remaining on the Cutting Edge of Skincare
It has come to my attention that you have recently come out with a facial moisturizer that contains SPF. I can’t believe it only took you about twenty years to develop a formula. It must be exhausting to continuously remain ahead of the latest skin care trends. Kudos. Unfortunately, the SPF is available only in a lotion form and marketed for “all skin types”. Of course I understand that “all skin types” is code for the 10% of the population blessed with a peaches and skin complexion and no sensitivities. So, I guess I’ll check your website again in another twenty years. Maybe by then you’ll have figured out how to incorporate an SPF in moisturizers suitable for us dry skinned girls and our oily faced sisters.
Regards,
Gemma
To: Carmindy,
CC: Sally Hansen Natural Beauty
Subject: Target, Walgreens, Walmart, Sephora, Kmart, Rite-Aid etc., etc.
Girl, you know I love you. I’ve never hidden my girl crush. I’ve raved about your products. For the love of God, listen to me. Whoever made the distribution deal for your product line needs to be taken to task stat. I’m talking some serious finger wagging her. (Unemployment is terrible right now, and I would never suggest that anyone should lose their job). I implore you to prevail upon him/her to distribute your line in stores besides CVS and Ulta. I don’t even know where the nearest Ulta is, and your phenomenal foundation is frequently sold out at my local CVS. When it turns up again, I shall be forced to buy out the entire stock so that I shall never again know another day without it. I’ve been watching those shows on hoarding. Fear of doing without is generally the impetus of hoarding. This could potentially become an illness. You are too nice to let this fate happen to me, your biggest fan. I hear people really love that Target
place!
Regards,
Gemma
